This work is deeply personal.
I am passionate about supporting other white people with anxiety as they engage in anti-racism work because I have observed (in myself) and heard (from others) about the harms that happen when white anxiety dominates a space.
For those who may not be familiar, here are some definitions of anxiety:
“A mental condition characterized by excessive apprehensiveness about real or perceived threats, typically leading to avoidance behaviors and often to physical symptoms such as increased heart rate and muscle tension. A feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome. Excessive and persistent worry… about everyday situations. Fast heart rate, rapid breathing, sweating, and feeling tired may occur.”
DISCLAIMERS: I am not saying that being white and engaging in anti-racism work means one has an anxiety disorder. And I am not saying mental illness causes white people to be racist. Mental illness does not make white people racist. Centuries of unchecked investment in white supremacy make us racist. What I am saying, as an aspiring anti-racist with chronic mental illness, is that anxiety does get in the way of us white folks actually “doin’ the work.” This can look like…
- Excessive apprehension, causing us to ask questions like, “but where do I start?” or “but what can I do?”
- Perceived threats to our ego, identity, and sense of self when the truth starts to unfold.
- Avoidance of engaging in anti-racist action because “what if I get it wrong?”
- Increased heart rate when the topic of racism (or even race) is raised in multiracial space.
- Worry, nervousness, unease about uncertain outcomes, by asking “can I really make a difference?” or “is this really worth it?“
- Excessive and persistent worry… about everyday situations, “but seriously, is that what I was supposed to do?”
- Sweating and feeling tired, tapped out, overwhelmed, often because we have not built up stamina (a word used by Resmaa Menakem) to sustainably engage in anti-racism work within the collective.
If the above is something you’ve been struggling with, I invite you to reach out. It is always an honor to hold space for folks with anxiety who are committed to anti-racism work.